They Say It'll Be Over By Christmas
by IntellectualBadAss
Summary: Bates has gone to war and Anna has been left at Downton. Anna is looking over some crumpled letters from him and imagining what her life will be like when the war is over. Please Read and Review :


A/N- heyyyy :) just a short story I decided to write. Imagine Bates has gone to war (I honestly don't know how as he is a limp and a 'drunk' but still work with me :)) anyhow Vera is also dead as it just makes my life easier and Anna is still at Downton. As always reviews = love :)

I sat in my small, dull room alone. Everyone else was fast asleep, but I laid awake, clutching desperately to a crumpled piece of paper. I held it close to my heart, as if it was a 100 pounds. No one knew. No one understood. They weren't alone. They didn't live in dread and fear that the person they cherish most in the world could be taken from them at any point. These crumpled, ripped, filthy pieces of paper were what gave me hope, hope that, someday soon, he would return, safe and happy. No other person downstairs understood what it felt like to be so deeply in love, that every moment of your day you think and physically ache for that person. No one would approve of our relationship here, it's frowned apron. Fraternizing with a valet, Mrs. Hughes would simply die. I wouldn't have to worry much longer because they said that the war will be over by Christmas and John promised me that as soon as it's over we can leave Downton and start a new life for ourselves. He said we can live in a small country cottage and have children as well. Even though we won't have much money, we'll have a life that is our own and we will be free to love each other all of the time. Our life will be based on love and, to me, that's worth more than 100 pounds. Anna Bates, it sounds perfect. He said that we could have a proper wedding too, seen as though his wife sadly passed away. A proper do at the local church, I've saved all of my pay because I want it to be special. It will be special, every moment I spend with him is a precious gift from god that brings me unbelievable spurts of joy and we'll be happy together once this silly war is over, they say it'll be over for Christmas, not long to go. It's silly, but these little Fantasies are what gets me through the pain and the worry. Childish really but it keeps me sane and able to hide my true anxiousness. I love John with all my heart and I know once this silly war is over then we can be together- he said so in his letter.

The morning quickly came; I could hear the winter rain bouncing onto my window pain and the bitter breeze howling through the house. Time to get up, one more day closer to the end of this silly war. I quickly got myself out of bed and prepared myself for work, placing my hair neatly into a tight bun and under my cap, quickly tying my apron and dashing downstairs.

To my surprise everyone was already seated, a solemn expression on each person's face. Mrs. Hughes acknowledged me and gently shook her head. I backed away, shaking my head. The silence was unbearable. The air was too thick. I was suffocating. My heart was being ripped from my body. This couldn't be happening. He promised me. Everyone's heads turned to me as they watched the realization consume me, they watched almost with interest- my reaction only confirming what had obviously been suspected. It could have been anyone- William, Tom, the master but I knew I knew it was him; they wouldn't look at me that way if it wasn't. Mrs. Hughes wouldn't look at me with such sympathy if it was one of the others. I continued to back towards the door, my face as White as a soft blanket of snow. I couldn't speak. I had forgotten how to talk.

"I'm sorry Anna" Mrs. Hughes voice cut sharp like a knife through the silence of the room. I knew. I knew it was him.. I turned and ran as fast as I could out of the servant's quarters, out onto the grounds and quickly into the array of trees which surrounded the house. As soon as I thought I was far enough away, my knees buckled and I fell hopelessly to the floor. The rain quickly soaked my collapsed frame. Suddenly huge sobs wrecked through my body and tears began to pour uncontrollably from my eyes. I sobbed harder and harder, punching and clawing the ground and even though my hands were bleeding, I felt no pain. I felt numb. As far as I was concerned I was dead, a lost soul now trapped in a lifeless human body. I was now doomed to a life without love, without hope; not really a life at all. I couldn't take it, he was all I had, I loved him so much it hurt. I could never love another man again, not the way I loved him. I'd be forced to work in service for the rest of my pitiful, pointless life.

"No!" I screamed, into the emptiness, the scream rupturing trough my mouth, causing a ripping sensation to burn trough my throat. I ripped my hair free from the pins and the cap and ripped my apron; I threw the discarded clothing onto the floor and ran further into the woods but once again fell hopelessly to the ground. I slowly pulled myself into a ball my arms wrapping around my soaking frame, the blood from my hands seeped through my dress causing a dark red stain to appear; not like I cared I wouldn't be going back. The bitter winter wind howled through the trees, like a demon possessing my surroundings, caused my limbless body to shake violently. I began rocking back and forth, humming slightly to myself, whilst the tears flowed freely down my face and the freezing weather began to numb my fragile frame.

I lay there for hours; my eyes were heavy and extremely puffy from crying so much. I knew if I fell asleep out here then I was sure to freeze to death, no one would find me out here, there was no one who could save me, not anymore. I didn't even want to be found, I just wanted to lay here and be forgotten. It was better this way, I could join him in heaven and we would be eternally together with nothing in our way. Exhaustion quickly took over me, my eyes slowly closing, eternal sleep embracing my freezing form. He said that we were going to live in a nice little cottage. We were going to get married and have a proper do at the local church. We were going to have children and even though we didn't have much money our lives would be based on love and happiness. He said as soon as the silly war is over we could leave Downton and we would be free to love each other all of the time, without stupid rules and regulations. Anna Bates, its perfect isn't it? We'll be happy together, once this silly war's over, they say it'll be over for Christmas, not long now.

A/N- sorry I know it's pretty grim but I hope you still enjoyed it and it didn't depress you too much :) please review :D


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